


measuring our lives in decembers

by youareinlove713



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Based loosely on a song, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Minor Angst, Rating May Change, Warnings May Change, potentially more angst to come later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:42:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27970205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youareinlove713/pseuds/youareinlove713
Summary: It starts off innocent with JJ asking Reid about his holiday plans that first year they're at the B.A.U. (2003).What happens when JJ tries to fix her mistakes in 2005? Will they become a couple? Stay friends? Perhaps they fall apart completely....
Relationships: Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau & Derek Morgan, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/William LaMontagne Jr., Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Penelope Garcia & Jennifer "JJ" Jareau & Spencer Reid
Comments: 11
Kudos: 42





	1. I Felt Like I Wanted To Save You Somehow

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, welcome!! 
> 
> It's the way I've been writing Jeid fics since late March and have only now gotten around to posting one. Lol.
> 
> Fun fact: I actually wrote this in October to "Last December" by Nina Nesbitt and forgot about it. 
> 
> Anyway, I do not own the characters or the show, only this idea. So, I hope you enjoy!!

“You guys have plans?” she asks Morgan and Reid a few days before. 

“Flying back to Chicago tomorrow morning.” 

“Lucky, I don’t get time off like you guys.” she says. 

He chuckles. “Sorry, Pennsylvania.” 

“What about you, Reid, you got plans?” 

He buries his head in paper work, and JJ sits down on his desk, scooping up the papers he’s working on.  
  


“Hey! I was trying to get that done.” he pouts. 

She looks back at Derek, and then back to Reid, a brow arched. “What are your holiday plans, Spence?” 

He slumps back in his chair and mumbles something quickly that sounds like “I don't have any.” 

“You don’t have plans?” she asks in disbelief, her head turning to Derek again. 

“Kid,” Morgan leans forward in his chair, “What do you mean you don’t have plans for Christmas? Do you not celebrate?” 

He shakes his head. “Not since I was nine.” 

JJ’s brows tug together. “Why?” 

“My dad left and my mom….” he shakes his head, “I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

“Okay. But you do like Christmas, right?” she asks. 

He nods. “Yeah.” 

“Alright. It’s settled, then, since I don’t have enough time off to visit my family and you have no plans, you’re coming by my place and we’re celebrating together.” 

“What?” he squeaks. 

She laughs. “We’re doing Christmas together. Come by around noon with alcohol,” she pauses, “You are legal age, aren’t you?” she asks, forgetting how young he is exactly. 

“Yeah,” he says, a little annoyed. 

“Good. Get some scotch or something. I don’t know. I’ll figure out the food. I hope you like duck.” 

Reid arches a brow. 

“It’s a french thing,” she shrugs. 

He nods. “Oh, I know. I just didn’t realize your family….um, never mind.” 

It’s her turn to arch a brow.

“Shouldn’t you all be working?” Gideon asks, passing by. 

JJ slips off Reid’s desk and heads back to her office. 

“My place. Noon!” she calls on her way out of the bullpen.

So, two days later she finds herself preparing duck with bourbon and oranges at 8 a.m. like her mother used to for Christmas. 

After it’s in the oven, she worries about sweet potatoes and spiced pecan butter. 

Some time later she flourishes the fireplace with real garland and holly berries. 

She sticks a few cinnamon sticks in inconspicuous spots in the bathroom, and lights a fire. 

The tree in the corner of the room isn’t real because she wasn’t planning to have company, honestly. 

But it is decorated and Spencer probably won’t mind, she reasons. 

But maybe that balsam scented candle on the coffee table should be lit before he gets here.

Around 10:30 she heads into the bathroom to shower and she finds herself using her favorite cherry almond soap. 

When she gets out, she uses a matching lotion deciding against perfume. 

She tucks herself into dark jeans and a berry red v-neck sweater. 

She curls her hair and does her makeup. 

By the time she’s finished, it’s almost noon. 

She lights the candle in the living room, and sets out some pretzels, crackers, and cheese. 

A gentle tapping of knuckles on the door startles her. 

“It’s open.” she calls, getting the cider from the fridge. 

“I brought cookies from the bakery on the corner,” he says. 

She tells him to put them on the table along with the scotch. 

“I asked Hotch what he thought I should get.” he says, putting the bottle of scotch down, “He said anything under $100 isn’t great, so I got-” 

She looks at the scotch he brought and immediately recognizes the name. “Oh….Spence, that’s an almost three hundred dollar bottle.” 

“I thought celebrating Christmas for the first time in thirteen years deserved good scotch.” 

She chuckles, not sure how to respond to that.

“I also got a cheaper whiskey for the cider.” 

She takes that one, and pours them both a drink. 

He winces at the first few sips. 

And she finds it an endearing reminder of his innocence. 

She hopes whatever happens, the job never takes that from him. 

“So,” she ushers him into the living room.

“You have a beautiful place, JJ.” he says, making himself comfortable on the couch.

“Thank you.” 

They listen to fire crackle for a while before JJ asks if he wants to eat.

“Uh...sure, yeah. That sounds nice, actually.” he says getting up.

She crosses to the kitchen, taking the duck out from the top oven, and the sweet potatoes out from the bottom oven. 

“If you wanna get settled at the table, I’ll brin-”

“No, no, JJ. I can get my own plate.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Spence. A host is supposed to serve their guest.” 

“Maybe traditionally, but we don’t need to go about this so formally, JJ. We’re coworkers….and, and friends,” he pauses checking with her that he’s right, “I hope?” 

“We’re friends, Spence.” She nods slowly, reassuring him.

“Good. I’m glad. For a moment there I thought I misread-”

“No. No misreading,” she chuckles, and then, “What do you know about cutting meat off the bone?” 

“Uh…..”

“Great.” 

He smiles, coming closer to the small island in the kitchen. “It can’t be that hard, right?”

She shrugs, making a face.

He takes the fork and knife and he tries to cut.

He manages to get a good chunk of the breast onto each of their plates. 

Getting the legs proves a little trickier, though.

JJ has to help. 

But they figure that out, too. 

“It smells amazing, by the way.” He says sitting down. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

“Thank you. It’s my mom’s recipe.”

He watches her, waiting. “Do you wanna say grace? I know you grew up catholic….” 

She looks at him, brows pulled together. “You’re not religious, are you.” 

He shakes his head, “But I know you are, so it’s okay. It’s fine, really-- it’s your house, JJ.” 

She shakes her head. “I don’t practice anymore, not since, um…..” her gaze drops to the table, she swallows the lump growing in her throat, “....Not since my sister died.”

“I’m sorry.” 

She blinks, forcing a smile. “It’s okay. It was over ten years ago now.” 

His face still expresses pity. 

“I don’t have any siblings,” he says, trying to change the topic. 

“Do you have any friends here in D.C.?” she wonders.

“The girl at the cafe near my house is nice, and the librarian talks to me sometimes.” 

“Spence….”

“What?” 

She shakes her head. “Never mind.” 

He takes a bite first, his eyes falling shut at the taste. “Wow, JJ, this is….exquisite.” 

She smiles at the table trying to hide the blush creeping into her cheeks. “Thanks.” 

She tries some of the duck. “Mm.”

Later, they sit by the fireplace, and Reid notices the mistletoe hung by the tree. “Did you know mistletoe symbolizes ‘life that doesn't die’ to Christians-- that’s why it’s used for Christmas. It also is associated with fertility, good luck, and a good harvest in the months to come.” 

Of course.

“Some of our Christmas traditions actually originated from pagan holidays,” he adds a moment later. 

“Hm.” 

He takes that as a sign not to continue, and they just enjoy each other’s company for a few minutes before JJ asks, “Tell me you watched “A Charlie Brown Christmas” growing up, at least.” 

He shakes his head. “No, never. My mom was wary of anything on tv-- afraid I’d end up brain washed. I had to sneak over to my friend Ethan’s to watch anything.” 

She looks at him in pity, and then jumps up and runs into her room down the hall, coming back with a small basket of dvds. 

“We’re watching at least two before you leave.” 

After digging through them for a minute, she decides on “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” and “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. 

She curls up on the other side of the couch and they sip on hot spiced cider while munching on the cookies from the bakery Spencer brought. 

At some point Reid stretches himself out a little, and JJ reaches for a blanket, cold. 

“You want one?” she asks. 

He nods, not taking his eyes off the movie. 

For the second time tonight he reminds her of a giant kid and it’s sweet, she decides. 

Though, she wishes his childhood hadn’t been so different? But, she’s also glad she gets to watch him see these for the first time. 

Somehow she ends up with her head resting on the outside of his thigh and his hands in her curls, her eyes barely staying open by halfway through the second movie. 

“I should go,” he says glancing down, his voice barely above a whisper, “I’m gonna go, JJ.” 

She looks up at him, nodding. 

He slips out from under her and heads for the door, grabbing his coat. 

“Take some leftovers,” she calls. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I can’t eat all that duck, anyway.” 

“Okay.” 

And then she tells him where the Tupperware is, and he takes a baked sweet potato, too. And some of the spiced butter pecan topping to go with it. 

“G’night, Spence.” she says. 

“Merry Christmas.” 

She says, “Merry Christmas” back, and he slips out the door. 

She curls up in the spot he just was, finding it’s still a little warm, and falls asleep. 


	2. 2004

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re coming over for Christmas, right?” she says stopping by Reid’s desk on her way to Hotch’s office about a week and a half before the holiday in question.
> 
> He nods. 
> 
> “Great. Garcia’s joining us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I technically had this chapter written back in October, but it felt a bit off to me, so that's why it took me a few days to post it. I think the next chapter should be up in a day or two, but I have to check it over for any ooc-ness. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!! :DD

“You’re coming over for Christmas, right?” she says stopping by Reid’s desk on her way to Hotch’s office about a week and a half before the holiday in question.

He nods. 

“Great. Garcia’s joining us.” 

She turns to Morgan, “You sure you don’t wanna stop by?” 

He smiles at her politely. “I’ve got plans already.” 

“Okay.”

With more time to prepare this year, she gets Morgan to help her get a real tree. 

“I got it from here,” she says once it’s set up in the base at her house.

“You’re really doing this all for him?” 

“He deserves a real Christmas tree. You know, he didn’t even see a Christmas movie until last year?” 

Morgan’s brows jump. 

“Yeah.”

He blinks a few times, processing that, but whatever he's thinking, she can't tell.

She smiles and makes Derek the coffee she promised him. 

He follows her into the kitchen. 

“What's with the $300 bottle of single malt scotch on top of the fridge?” 

“Oh, that?” she looks up to the bottle in question, “That was Spence’s present from last year.” 

“You’re telling me he spent over a hundred bucks on alcohol?” 

“Blame Hotch.” she chuckles. 

*****  
  


Garcia brings homemade sugar cookies, peanut butter cookies, and raspberry cheesecake cookies dipped in chocolate. 

Reid shows up with chestnut stuffing. 

JJ prepares the duck to eat and they fill up on the warm food and the scotch from last year. 

“Not bad, Boy Wonder!” Penelope says, taking a swig. 

“This is good, Reid.” JJ comments on the stuffing, “Where’d you learn to make this?” 

“I read a few cooking books looking for something to make that would compliment the duck,” he tells them staring down at his plate, playing with the stuffing in question.

“It’s really good.” she reiterates. 

“Yeah,” Garcia agrees. “Really good.” 

After dinner they settle on the couch to watch “A Christmas Carol” with the cookies Garcia made.

Garcia sits between them, and JJ finds herself missing last year when it was just the two of them. 

But she does enjoy Garcia’s added company. 

She just liked curling up next to Spence when she got tired last year and was hoping she’d have the chance to do it again this year. 

She sighs, turning her attention back to the movie. 

Garcia interrupts with comments and gasps every so often and Reid glances over to JJ who’s looking at him, a shared look of annoyance. 

“Haven’t you seen this every year?” JJ asks almost halfway through. 

“Yeah, but I don’t have an eidetic memory like Reid here, I forget, Jayje.” 

She shakes her head, wondering why she bothered to ask. 

When the movie finishes, they exchange gifts. 

Something they didn’t do last year. 

But Garcia insisted. 

Reid opens one from Penelope first, a Christmas sweater reveals itself and his eyes light up. “Wow. This is great, Garcia. I love it!” 

“Oh, good! Yay!” She says tossing her arms around him. 

He tenses, hugging back for a second before pulling away. 

JJ makes a note to ask him about that later, and then moves to open one of her two gifts from Reid. 

She finds a book with a collection of Shakespeare. “You remembered!” she smiles. 

His face goes pink as his mouth curls upward. 

“Spence, I love it!” 

“Open the other one.” he says. 

She peels away the wrapping paper to find a giftset of her favorite body wash and lotion. “Oh…” she gazes at him, softly, “Wow, Spence, you didn’t have to.”

She’d stopped getting it earlier in the year because they stopped selling it at her local store and she didn’t have time to drive two hours for body wash and lotion. 

“It’s not a big deal, really.” 

“Thank you.” she mouths. 

He smiles. 

Garcia opens JJ’s gift. 

It’s a coffee mug with an engraving that says “Resident Tech Genius”. 

“Jayje!” she squeals. “This is adorable!” 

JJ grins. 

Then, Reid picks up a small box wrapped in JJ’s wrapping paper. 

It’s crinkled and there’s too much tape, but he manages to undo it. 

The box opens to reveal cologne.

He pulls it out and sprays some in the air, sniffing it. 

“I hope it’s not overstepping, I saw it and realized you never wear any I just thought-”

“It’s perfect.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” he sends her a soft smile. 

“Okay, lovebirds,” Garcia jokes. 

And they finish up with the gifts. 

They make some drinks, chat by the fire for a little while longer and snack on a few more cookies before JJ shows them to the door, sending them both home with leftovers.

She can’t believe he drove almost three hours for body wash and lotion just because he heard her complain about it months ago. 

And then, Penelope’s joke echoes in her mind. 

Reid couldn’t like her, could he?


	3. I met you there with a nervous smile and I left knowing you'd be here a while

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You got someone in mind with a dress like that?” Morgan says, coming up behind her. 
> 
> She laughs, nervously. “No, just needed a reason to wear it, I guess.” 
> 
> “Whatever you say, JJ.” He pours himself some punch and leaves her. 
> 
> So what if maybe she was hoping Reid would be here and she could capture his mouth with hers at the stroke of midnight to make up for last month?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting this sooner, I was obsessing over if it was in character or not, but I've decided it's as in character as I'm gonna get it, so here it is!!

The Friday before Christmas Morgan asks, “Pretty boy, you headin’ to JJ’s?” 

He keeps his head buried in work, shaking his head.

“Still?”

He just ignores the older man.

“Alright. You’re comin’ home with me this year.”

That gets his attention, he looks up at Morgan. “I don’t really feel like celebrating.”

“Kid, it’s Christmas!” 

“I have plans,” he says, and they both know it’s a lie, but Morgan drops the topic.

Morgan knocks on her office door a little later.

“Come in,” she calls, not looking up from her work.

“You ever gonna tell me what happened on that date? You’ve both been acting weird ever since.”

“Nothing happened.” Because she didn’t realize it was supposed to be a date. 

He sighs, and leaves her be.

*****

A few days later, JJ wakes to a quiet world, a blue glow outside her window. 

Growing up in Pennsylvania, snow doesn’t phase her as much, but she wonders if Reid is in awe of the icy wonderland.

She sighs, realizing she won’t see him today. 

They silently agreed to not celebrating together this year.

But her heart’s squeezing at the idea of not seeing his eyes light up at the idea of a white Christmas.

Maybe she should just call him, she wonders, stretching out her limbs. 

Before she knows it, hours go by and she can’t find the nerve to even text him, let alone call him.

Late afternoon rolls around and the falling snow turns to a light rain, she climbs up on a chair and gets the scotch he bought her a few years back. 

She curls up on the couch with a glass and places the bottle on the table, she doesn’t bother with a fire, she doesn’t deserve it, she reasons.

Three glasses later, she calls Garcia. 

“Am I a stereotype?” 

“Huh?”

“He only had two tickets….why would I think-”

“Oh,” Garcia sighs, “Jayje, we talked about this, you can’t beat yourself up about this. He said Gideon gave him the tickets, how were you supposed to know it was meant to be a date?” 

She chuckles. “Yeah, I guess.”

“I’m coming over.”

“No, I’m fine.”

“You’re clearly not fine! You’re crying over a date gone awry!” 

JJ fakes a laugh, settling herself deeper into the cushions. “I don’t want the company, and plus, aren’t you busy?”

“Not busy enough to not comfort my friend,” she tells her. 

JJ smiles and hangs up.

Her eyelids feel heavy, so she lays down and when Garcia gets there barely twenty minutes later, JJ’s passed out. 

Garcia collects the alcohol and places it back on top of the fridge, and cleans the glass. 

She starts cooking some boxed mac and cheese JJ has in a cabinet.

“Gosh, it’s freezing in here, Jayje,” she says, crossing the apartment to check on the fire that apparently JJ never started today. 

“Well, that’s why!” she bends down and tries to figure it out. 

Within a minute, there’s a growing flame. “That’s better,” she stands, smiling at her work, and then goes back to cooking.

JJ moans quietly, her neck a little sore, as she stirs awake. 

She hears the water running in the kitchen and immediately her heart jumps into her throat, and her stomach fills with fear. She attacks her body with her hands, searching for her gun, but it’s locked away down the hall. 

“Who’s there? I’m FBI!” she yells. 

“So am I,” Garcia calls, “But don’t worry. I don’t know how to use a gun.”

JJ pops her head over the couch to find it’s only her favorite tech genius. “Garcia, you scared me. I thought you were someone playing out a fantasy before killing me.”

“You spend too much time screening cases for the team, we need to get you a life, JJ.” 

“I have a life,” she says, tucking her hair behind her ear as she gets onto her knees on the couch. 

Garcia cocks a brow. “You sure about that? ‘Cause your cabinet and the fact that your Christmas plans in D.C. got ruined from one bad date say otherwise,” she says, playfully.

JJ gives an awkward expression in response. “Alright, fine. Maybe I need a life.” 

She gets up, “What’re you making, anyway?”

“Mac and cheese.” 

“Yum.” she says, sarcastically. 

“Hey, don’t look at me. It’s the only thing you had in here.” 

“Yeah, I haven’t been grocery shopping in a few days,” she pauses, sitting at the small island, “Sorry.” 

A bit later, they’re drinking wine by the fire. “You wanna tell me why you’re so upset about the date, anyway?” 

JJ’s teeth tug at the inside of her bottom lip. “Not really.” 

Garcia narrows her eyes and then, “Oh. My. God. You like him!” 

JJ’s cheeks burn bright red. 

“You do! Oh my god, you like Reid! Why did you make me go, then?” 

“I….I didn’t think he felt the same, I guess,” she shrugs.

“You’re brilliant, passionate, hardworking, what’s not to like?” 

JJ drops her gaze, “We don’t have a lot in common, and I….I don’t understand half of what he says.”

“Jayje! Don’t be ridiculous-- you have more in common than anyone else does on the team.” 

“But I’m not at the same level of intelligence as you or Reid. And, and surely he wants someone who gets him on that level,” she tries.

“Clearly not.” 

JJ smiles, “Yeah, maybe not. But I thought he did.”

*****

Garcia calls Morgan the day after Christmas. 

“Now, I know something you don’t about what’s going on with JJ and Reid, and I’m not allowed to say what it is, but you trust me, right?”

“Right.”

“Then, help me convince Hotch to throw a party on New Year’s Eve.”

He chuckles. “Baby girl, that’s never gonna happen.”

“You doubt my abilities, Chocolate Thunder. Shame on you.”

He laughs. “Alright. You convince him, and I’ll make sure the kid gets there.”

“Yay!” She cheers and then adds, “If all goes according to plan, I’ll be thanking you in the most delicious ways, Derek Morgan.”

He chuckles, “I’m keepin’ you to that.” 

*****

 _R u coming tonight?_ Penelope texts her around six on New Year’s Eve.

She rolls her eyes, really not in the mood to celebrate this year.

_No_. 

A few minutes later, _Jayje, what? No, U have to!_

A few seconds after that she gets another text. Reid will b there! 

Well, she thinks, maybe she should fix things between them. It couldn’t hurt, after all-- even if they just go back to being friends it’ll be better than them avoiding each other unless absolutely necessary. 

She slides off the couch and hops in the shower. 

After a quick rinse, she finds Garcia’s figured out where the spare key is because she’s sitting on the couch. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Making sure you’re going! Go! Get ready!” 

She heads into her room and reluctantly tugs on a sparkly, tight powder blue dress that has a deep ‘v’ cut out in the back and is awfully short. 

Garcia’s late Christmas gift to her.

She straightens her hair and tucks the front pieces behind her ears with bobby pins. 

She decides to wear a smokey eye and some lip gloss. 

She throws on a grey coat that hits her knees and grabs a small silver clutch that catches the sparkles on her dress just right. 

Her heels are taller than usual, and pointed, elongating her already long legs. 

“Oooh, you look gorgeous, Jayje!” Penelope says when she finally comes out of her room.

They head to Hotch’s with few words spoken between them. 

When they arrive, she’s met with compliments from Elle and Gideon, and Hotch. 

She smiles politely, heading for the champagne. 

“You got someone in mind with a dress like that?” Morgan says, coming up behind her. 

She laughs, nervously. “No, just needed a reason to wear it, I guess.” 

  
“Whatever you say, JJ.” He pours himself some punch and leaves her. 

So what if maybe she was hoping Reid would be here and she could capture his mouth with hers at the stroke of midnight to make up for last month? 

She sighs, getting her glass and turning back to the party. She doesn’t see him anywhere. 

What if this was a wasted effort? 

What if she would’ve been better off staying home in her favorite pajama shirt, watching the ball drop by herself? 

She sips the drink and moves through the small gathering. 

Hayley’s bouncing Jack in a corner. 

Wouldn’t that be sweet? A baby. 

She could picture Spence with kids-- correction: she could see herself and Spence with kids. 

If only she could fix her mistake. 

If only he was here tonight, she thinks. 

“I thought you said Reid was coming?” JJ whispers to Garcia around 10:30.

“He is,” she pauses, looking around, “Or….I thought he was?” 

And then she runs over to Morgan, slapping his arm. “I thought we agreed you’d get Reid here!”

“I told him, he said he’ll stop by and say hello,” then, he scrunches his brows, “Why’s this so important, anyway?”

“It just...is!” 

The night drags on and JJ begins to lose hope in him showing up. 

But around 11:56 p.m. he finally shows up in a navy argyle sweater with a little v-neckline-- just enough to show off his collarbone-- and a pair of jeans. 

She doesn’t wanna wait anymore, she decides, moving toward him as quickly as she can in these stilettos. 

She crashes her mouth onto his and he gasps, stumbling back into the wall with the force of her. 

And then, his hands find leverage on her waist and sweep up toward her hair, tangling them in the soft blonde hair. 

Reluctantly, she pulls away, needing air. 

Her eyes open to find Reid’s pupils blown and his mouth hung open, his lips kiss bitten red and she smirks a little. 

“Hello to you too, JJ.” he says.

“Hey,” she says, softly, leaning onto his chest. 

His thumb caresses her cheek before falling to her lips, catching her bottom lip a little.

His eyes drag over her body, “You look, uh,” he wets his lips, and swallows, “Wow. You, you look beautiful, JJ.” 

She meets his eyes, her own darkening. “Thank you.”

He leans down a smile stretched across his face as he captures her mouth with his teeth gently. 

They stand there, trading kisses for a few moments longer and then Gideon announces the ball’s going to drop in a minute. 

So, they grab a drink and head to the living room where everyone else is gathering around the t.v.

“10, 9, 8…” 

Reid brings her closer to him, his arm curled around her waist. 

“...5, 4…” 

She looks up at him, her sapphire eyes sparkling. 

“....3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!” 

Her lips slide between his, his hand on her jaw. 

“Finally!” Penelope squeals, jumping up and down, drawing everyone’s attention to her and then, she points toward the new couple. 

Reid cuts the kiss short, his cheeks flooding pink. “I’m gonna get more champagne,” he says, scratching at his neck before running off to the kitchen with a full glass of champagne.

Morgan and JJ share a look and chuckle. 

Hotch offers congratulations and Elle just smiles. 

Gideon pats JJ’s shoulder, a smile on his face as he passes her on his way to check on Reid. 

A little later, they end up hand in hand on the couch, reminiscing on the year they had with the team and JJ finds her face hurts from smiling so much. 

She mouths, “Thank you,” to Garcia, and Penelope blushes, smiling at the happy couple. 


	4. you were the safety blanket I needed most (2006)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The snow falls, silencing the world around them. 
> 
> Christmas music plays through the speakers and JJ sips on her hot cider.
> 
> “And that’s a Douglas fir,” Reid points to the tree ahead of them, “Did you know it’s the most commonly bought tree for Christmas in the U.S.?”
> 
> She smiles, “No, I didn’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I hope everyone had a happy and safe holiday!! 
> 
> As a little New Year's present, I thought I'd post a new chapter. 
> 
> So, enjoy! :D

The snow falls, silencing the world around them. 

Christmas music plays through the speakers and JJ sips on her hot cider.

“And that’s a Douglas fir,” Reid points to the tree ahead of them, “Did you know it’s the most commonly bought tree for Christmas in the U.S.?”

She smiles, “No, I didn’t.” 

“But actually the one that lasts the longest is the Fraser fir.”

“Huh,” she says, swerving around a small child running around. 

“Yeah, and, um..” he looks at her, noticing her eyes glued to the lightly colored tree a few feet in front of them, “Oh, that’s a Scotch pine.” 

She walks closer to it, inspecting it closely. “Is it a good tree?”

“Yeah, why? You wanna get it?”

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he steps forward, looking at the tree for himself. “Yeah, it’s definitely nice. We can get it if you want.”

She nods, grinning, “Please?” 

He smiles, “I’ll be right back.” 

And then he runs off to get a chainsaw.

She catches the look of horror when he turns it on, and suddenly she’s equally worried.

“Spence, wait. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

He glances at the tree and then the saw, shrugs, “How hard can it be, right?”

She lets out a nervous laugh and he begins cutting. 

Or attempting to, anyway. 

After a few minutes, he pops back up. “It’s not cutting.” 

“I’ll go get someone to do it for us.”

He pouts.

But she goes anyway.

Eventually they get the tree tied to the top of JJ’s car and drive back to her place. 

Reid lights the fireplace to warm them up and JJ switches into pjs. 

They plop onto the couch, staring at the still netted tree. “We could wait until tomorrow to decorate,” JJ suggests, exhausted from carrying it up the stairs. 

“Yeah, that’s probably best.” Reid laughs, snuggling next to her, his head on her shoulder. 

A few minutes later his breathing slows and she looks to find he’s fallen asleep. 

She carefully guides them both down into a more comfortable position and lets herself drift to sleep.

In the morning, she wakes to the smell of burning eggs and coffee. 

She climbs off the couch and pours herself some coffee. “What happened to the eggs? Genius couldn’t figure out the math side of making them?” she jokes.

“Haha.” he says, dumping them into the garbage. “No, actually, I couldn’t.”

“But you made such wonderful chestnut stuffing.”

He winces. “Actually, I, uh, I didn’t make that...I found a place that has a few french dishes.”

She laughs. 

“I’ll make somethin’, you go sit down.”

He moves his mouth to protest, but she gently shoves him out of the kitchen.

He tends to the fire, and gets comfortable on the couch.

A bit later, she places a plate of chocolate chip pancakes and a side of scrambled eggs in front of him.

She sits next to him and they eat in peace, the only sound is the fire crackling.

He cleans up and she heads off to the bathroom.

She comes back almost twenty minutes later, hair styled in a messy updo, light makeup paired with a long sleeve grey tee and her favorite jeans. “Ready to decorate?”

He nods, eagerly, his eyes sparkling.

She grabs scissors to cut the tree free from the net and he pulls out the lights. 

He fumbles them around a while, trying to unknot them.

“Sorry,” she tells him when he glances at her annoyed, “I was rushing--we got called in.”

She offers to help after a few more minutes, and then they start wrapping them around the tree. 

“Thank you,” he tells her as they dress the tree with gold tinsel. 

“For?” 

“For making Christmas a good memory again.” 

She looks at him, softly. “You deserve good memories to make up for your childhood, Spence.” 

“I….I know. And thank you for being the one to give me them.” 

She smiles and they start putting red balls on the tree. Some sparkly, some not. 

And silver bells. 

And Spencer gets most excited at the Doctor Who ornaments she got for him. 

She may not care about it, but he does, and it’s nice to see him so much like a child at the idea of putting them on the tree. 

Their tree, she reminds herself, smiling.

When they’re done, they’re looking at a tree decorated in silver, red, gold, Doctor Who, and topped with a golden star. 

“It’s perfect.” She says, leaning into his chest. 

He gazes at her, eyes twinkling. 

She grabs his wrists-- wanting him, needing him-- she pulls him toward the couch, he stumbles a bit (his foot catching on the leg of the coffee table), and they fall into the dark brown cushions, his weight crushing her. 

Their eyes meet, and they laugh.

She presses her mouth to his, softly, and he guides them into a more comfortable position with her on top. 

She falls asleep switching between gazing up at him, and looking at the tree, with his heartbeat under her ear.


	5. it's called the funeral (2007)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He walks in from an AA meeting and sets his bag down. 
> 
> “Hey,” she greets him with a smile. 
> 
> Immediately JJ notices the way he avoids meeting her eyes. 
> 
> “Is something wrong?”
> 
> “We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up: this next chapter is focused on JJ around Christmas/New Year's instead of JJ and Spence, but I promise the next chapter will make up for it!! 
> 
> Also, the title of this chapter comes from the song that played at the end of "Revelations" aka 2x15, the song is "The Funeral" by Band of Horses. 
> 
> I apologize in advance for the angst your about to witness. *winces*
> 
> Enjoy!!

_He walks in from an AA meeting and sets his bag down._

_“Hey,” she greets him with a smile._

_Immediately JJ notices the way he avoids meeting her eyes._

_“Is something wrong?”_

_“We need to talk.”_

_Her brows crease and he makes his way into the living room, she follows._

_He sits on the table across from her, his face buried in his hands, his breathing shallow._

_“Should I be worried?”_

_He finally finds the courage to look at her, his eyes are swollen and red, like he’s been crying._

_“I..I think we should take a break.”_

_“What?” she whispers, feeling her heart in her throat._

_“I don’t want you to witness this.”_

_“I can-I can handle this. I’ve been through worse, Spence, I can handle this,” she tries, eyes pleading with him to let her stay and help him through this._

_“I don’t want you to, JJ. I don’t want you to handle this.” he pauses, seeming to work out if he should say the next part or not, but decides to go for it, “Af-after everything with Tobias.”_

_And it hits her._

_“You blame me.”_

_“No, no,” he rushes to fix his poor choice of words, “Of course not, we both made a choice that night.”_

_She blinks, sitting back, taking in the words unsaid._

_He winces at his even worse choice of words, “Tha-that’s not what I meant-”_

_“-It’s okay, you know? To blame me….I blame me.” she says, leaning forward again, meeting his eyes._

_He swallows._

_“I don’t want to,” he whispers, his voice pained._

_And then, a beat later, a little louder this time, “I don’t want to blame you, Jennifer.”_

_She reaches for his hand, “I know,” she nods, her voice wobbly, “I know, Spence.”_

_His eyes take on a glass-like appearance, and they just sit there for a while, not speaking, not moving._

_Frozen in fear._

_Because once they move, it’s over._

_They sit, and sit, and sit._

_Until the sky grows lighter, and JJ finally rises off the couch, her vision blurred as she thinks about what she’s about to say, about what’s about to happen._

_Her bones are loud as she stretches her limbs._

_Then, with a shaky breath, “No matter how long it takes, I’ll wait,” she wets her lips, “I love you. So much.” Tears slip down her cheeks, dragging her now day old mascara with them. “And I want you to get better, and I don’t wanna be a distraction, so just...I love you.”_

_He lets out a choked sound as he smiles at her, and she knows it’s him trying to be brave, to make it hurt less, and maybe it’s working._

_She can’t tell because right now everything’s so new and raw._

_He stands and she feels his fingers caressing her face and she feels it all fade away. The pain. The fear. All of it’s just erased as she’s wrapped up in him._

_He wipes her tears from her cheeks and whispers, “I love you” into her hair, pressing a kiss there._

_Her thumb tugs at his cheekbone as her hands slide into his hair, pulling him into a deep kiss._

_It’s not a goodbye kiss, or even a break up kiss, it’s an “I’m waiting for you because I will always love you” kiss, but it still hurts all the same in her chest._

That was in early summer, and she gets it, she does. 

It’ll be easier to not be tempted if he’s focusing on getting help and not on how she’s dealing with the consequences of what happened because of the choices they made, but even all these months later it still hurts to see him at the office. 

A few weeks before Christmas she hears Morgan ask Reid, "You doing anything?" 

"I have plans to see my mom, actually." He says, eyes sparkling with excitement.

JJ's mouth curls upward as she watches. It's one of the first times she's seen him genuinely happy since....well, since February.

"That's good, Kid. That's really nice." 

Spencer smiles and then his eyes find hers from across the bullpen, and she drops her gaze, her smile falling as well. 

She doesn't have plans this year, she realizes, walking back to her office.

But she does have a certain Detective's number....

“You ever gonna finish that bottle up there?” Will asks, looking at the scotch Reid gave her a few years earlier.

“Uh,” she stares at it, and then finally after a moment, she grabs a stool and pulls it off the top of the fridge. 

She grabs two glasses and pours it straight. 

A few hours pass by and she finds herself half naked under the mistletoe, Will on his knees and she should be enjoying this. 

But all she can think about is Reid.

Still, she lets him continue until her brain’s all loaded up with dopamine and they’ve fallen asleep tucked under her bed covers. 

The next morning she wakes to the smell of bacon and coffee, so she slides out of bed and finds Will has made eggs and pancakes, too. 

“It smells delicious!” 

“You seem surprised.”

“No, just, uh…” Yeah, she’s surprised. None of her previous boyfriends could cook. 

Maybe he’s worth being more than a distraction, she decides, taking a bite of pancakes. “Oh my god, these are the best pancakes I’ve ever had.” 

“It’s all about the butter,” he smiles. 

And she chuckles at the way he says it. 

He goes home shortly after, but JJ finds herself amazed by the fact that for the first time in months her chest doesn’t feel so heavy. 

So, she texts him. 

_Do you have New Year’s Eve plans?_

He writes back a few minutes later, _Come to New Orleans, I’ll show you how to bring in the New Year._

And she feels her belly fill with heat. 

So, she takes the train down the morning of December 31st, and they share a drink on a rooftop overlooking the water. 

“This is nice.”

“Wait until the fireworks,” he says, a flirtatious way about his words and something tells JJ he doesn’t mean actual fireworks. 

The night winds closer to 12, and he sets up a blanket and some champagne. 

“You ever indulge in public sex?” 

She arches a brow, chuckling, “No, have you?” 

His smirk tells all and she kisses him, forcefully. 

They bring in the New Year with fireworks alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing the Jeid break up was so hard?? It took almost a month and there were several versions I tossed because they sounded ooc. This was the one that I thought made the most sense, but I'm still not 100% certain it's perfect. Oh well. 
> 
> Also, just to be clear, I don't think JJ's to blame for Tobias taking Spencer in s2. But I do think that JJ thinks it's her fault and possibly a struggling Spencer might blame her because, well, it's easier. 
> 
> Also, thanks for all the love so far!! <333


End file.
